When we decide to get married, we aspire to make it work and perfect. Just like in fairy tales, our objective is to “live happily ever after.” But like what they say there is no such thing as perfect. While we want to make our married life work, there will come a time when things will not go well. Most couples who still believe that they can still fix their marriage end up making things worse.
Just because you cannot fix your relationship does not mean it is beyond repair. It only means that no one wants to give in and you are fixing it based on what you want. If your spouse is no longer happy, there is a relationship problem that you need to fix. According to the website of Kathleen Snyder, relationship struggles can be difficult for couples to handle. This is where a marriage counselor can help you.Seeking the help of a marriage counselor can work wonders for the married couples. Figures from Statistics Brain revealed the following numbers:
- 65% of couples reported significant improvement after seeing a marriage counselor
- 75% of couples believe that they are “better off” after a counseling session
- 50 percent of couples still maintain their improved relationship two years after counseling
- 22% of couples who attended marriage counseling cite love for each other as their reason for attendance while 19% say that they do not communicate well
- Married couple would attend an average of 20 sessions in marriage counseling
But when is the proper time to get into marriage counseling? Here are some of the signs that you need the help of a relationship professional:
- When there is no communication. In reality, the challenge in most relationships is the lack of communication. When couples do not talk, it is usually hard to get back in the right direction. A counselor can device new ways for the people to communicate
- When there is communication but always negative. When the talking is in the negative, your spouse would feel that they are being judged, shamed, disregarded, or insecure. When the married couple talks in the negative, the communication turns into emotional abuse
- When you are afraid to open up. When there is an issue that you need to communicate with your spouse but you just cannot do it, it is really a problem. A marriage counselor can help you clear things up with your spouse.
- When affection is taken as a punishment. When you give your spouse the silent treatment and vice versa, it only shows imbalance in your relationship.
- When you are considering or already having an affair. Contemplating about having an affair shows that you are looking for something different from your current relationship. While survival is still possible even after the affair, it is best to nip it in the bud right away. As long as you and your partner are committed to working things out, the marriage can still be saved.
- When you are living independent from each other. When you and your partner become more like roommates than a married couple. The lack of communication, intimacy, and the feeling of just “co-existing” is a tell tale sign that something is wrong with your relationship and you need a professional to bring back the spark in your relationship.
Marriage is not like a grocery item that you can easily return and replace with another item. It is a life long commitment. For any signs of trouble, the couple needs to work things out or if they cannot, a marriage counselor can help them patch things up.Read More